


The French Nurse

by kmhappybunny240



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, French Characters, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Lost Love, Nurses & Nursing, Secret Past, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:27:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24944593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kmhappybunny240/pseuds/kmhappybunny240
Summary: Tommy never thought he could fall in love during the war. He did but then he lost her. What happens when tommy’s lost love shows up years later when he is trying to move on with grace?
Relationships: Grace Burgess/Tommy Shelby, Tommy Shelby/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 51
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first peaky blinders story. I must warn you guys Grace won't be played in the best light . In away she is the villain of the story. Just a warning to any Grace fans

Tommy Shelby was ok with dying. His heart was broken when his love Greta died a few months before he was shipped off to France. Now he is ready to see her again as he bleeds out in the mud. He felt like he was floating. Tommy thought he could hear and see Greta. Finally the hell was over he was going to be with her . 

"Sergeant major can you hear me? Sergeant can you hear me?"  
He was moaning as they rushed him into surgery so that was a good sign Olivia thought. Olivia needed to stop the bleeding so as she applied presser on the wound Tommy moaned even louder.  
" Sir can you hear me? You are at the field hospital. " Olivia saw his dog tags with his name Shelby , Thomas.

Tommy felt pain in his side and heard a voice . Dear God can it just be over now. He open his eyes and saw her. First thing he saw was her beautiful brown eyes. They were different from the last time he saw them. These eyes are like chocolate and Greta's eyes had flecks of gold in them and then he heard his name.

"Thomas Shelby can you hear me. You are in the field hospital. You have been severely injured and you must have surgery."

He felt so much pain and his rib cage felt like it was on fire. He opened his eyes again and saw the lights flicker and people around him. He heard again saying his name and then saw her. It wasn't Greta and he wasn't dead. 

When her patient open his eyes they were the bluest she has ever seen. Eyes that you get lost in and could see into your soul . He was alert for the most part and was moaning a woman's name. Probably his girl back home. Thomas had that look in his eyes. Olivia has seen it hundreds of times. He wanted to die. He just wanted it to be over with. Her heart always broke when a solider had nothing left to fight for. She understood. It was hard for her to wake up in the morning . It was the same thing over and over. Never ending suffering . When she would fix up a man another one came in. She has been doing this for three years and doesn't want to continue but she has no choice. 

"Thomas my name is Olivia and am a nurse. We need to stop the bleeding and get the bullet out. We are going to put you under now." They had to hurry. Bombs were going off and constant gunfire since they where near the front line. The lights flickered and could feel the ground shake. 

Tommy looked at Olivia and felt comfort in her. He weakly grabbed for her.   
"Please I want Greta. I need to be with her."

Olivia brushed away the few years starting to run down his cheek. "I promise you Tommy I will get you back to her." Olivia made these promises and most of the time the men never made it off the table. She would say anything she could to give the soldiers some type of comfort in their last hours. Olivia took the syringe and put it into Tommy vein.

Tommy moan as he felt a prick in his arm. He started to feel light headed. Those beautiful brown eyes was the last thing he saw before he was out cold. 

Tommy jolted awake. Another dream of war but thankfully she was in it. As Tommy slowly gets out of bed and goes to the bathroom he is brought back to that hospital. He never thought he could call in love after Greta especially in the middle of a war but he did. 

Olivia Dubios was a true beauty . He remembers the day he first heard her speak. It was a few days after he woke up and the accent went straight to his heart. There was warmth and kindness in her voice. She took care of him for three months. She helped him through nightmares and for the first time since the war started Tommy could feel his heart beat again. He told her things he would never tell anyone else. Not even his brothers. She was the first person to make the shovels stop at night. It all came to an end when she had to be reassigned to a military hospital in Paris and he was sent back to the trenches. He searched for months after he got home but it's like she just disappeared. Dear God he missed her even now. 

"Tommy dear are you alright?"   
  
He was startled out of his memories when Grace came into the bathroom. 

"Yeah I'm alright just a bad dream is all."

Grace hugged him and could feel how tense he was. It has gotten worse since they got engaged and bought the arrow house. Grace thinks it's just nerves of the new chapter they are starting in their life. It was starting to get hard on her . Almost every night she got up with tommy and she was really tired of her sleep getting interrupted. But this is what she signed up for apparently. What really ticked her off was when Tommy talked in his sleep. He kept saying a woman's name. Olivia. She asked him about it a once when he first started talking in his sleep but he just got angry and blew it off. Grace hated that another woman could be on his mind but dealt with it. As far as she could tell this Olivia woman wasn't apart of his life now so brushed it off.

The only thing Grace needed to worry about was planning the wedding and getting pregnant. She needed a permanent tie to tommy. Nothing better than a baby.

Tommy pulled away and kissed Grace . He felt lucky to have even though he still worried about her intentions. He just wanted to move on from their past. All Tommy wanted was a normal family. Which is pretty hard thing to accomplish considering he is head of the peaky blinders but he is taking his business legitimate. Now he has Grace and can finally be happy at least he hopes. 

Grace took Tommy hand and guided him back to bed.

"How bad was it?" Grace asked as they got back under the covers.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.  
"Not too bad this time. I didn't hear the shovels."

She didn't want to bring it up but he said her name again so she just blurt out.  
"You said her name again. Please Tommy just tell me who she is. I know it would bother you if I kept dreaming and saying a man's name in my sleep." Grace braced herself while Tommy froze. He didn't want to tell her who Olivia was . He understands what Grace is saying but he simply didn't want to tell her . It was so hard to talk about the war. Tommy didn't want that to taint his peace with grace. But maybe telling her a small peace wouldn't hurt.

"I knew her during the war. She was my friend. Listen Grace you don't have to worry ok. I haven't seen her in a long time and I don't even know where she would be now. It's just me and you . Ok I love you. " 

Grace didn't know how to respond. After all this time he finally told her. It wasn't much but at least he gave her a crumb. Grace rolled over and sat up a little. She placed her hand on the side of his face and he leaned into her hand.  
" I love you Tommy and I'm here. All I want is for you to let me in. Thank you for telling me. " Grace knew he was holding back the truth but he was finally opening up and she would take what she could. At a later point she will ask him for the full story. Tommy felt some relief of telling a small part of the truth . The only people who knew the full truth and heartbreak is Ada and polly. He got incredibly drunk one night shortly after coming home and got angry. He tore up his room. Punching the walls, punching a mirror and even three his desk chair towards the window. Once he calmed down they cleaned him up, he broke down. Tommy told them everything about olivia. How much he loves her and wanted to bring her back to small heath.

Polly and Ada felt so bad for him. They could tell how much this mystery woman meant to him. Polly would do anything to take away her nephew's heartbreak but she couldn't. All she could do was be strong for him and help guide down the right path. A few days after that night Tommy made them promise never to speak of the night again. The only thing Polly told him was to move on. Even though it was hard he had to. She wanted him to find a good woman and have children. She never expected he would move on with Grace .

Tommy and Grace held each other until he could hear her breathing even out and could tell she had fallen asleep. Tommy just stared at the ceiling and Olivia was staring back at him. He didn't understand why now of all times she had to haunt him. Tommy took Polly advice and moved on. He was happy now. Why was she still with him. Maybe it was the fact he never found out what happened to Olivia . It was a loose end he needed to clean up before he got married. He decided right then he was going to find out if she is at least alive or not. Then he can put her to rest and marry his love. But as Tommy turned to look at Grace he can admit that he was slightly disappointed that the dark haired beauty wasn't next him.

It's time to move on and Tommy was determined to move forward. Little did Tommy know that his past got off a train and has been living in London for the past month and she brought a surprise with her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 2 please enjoy next chapter will be all about Olivia

It's been three weeks since Tommy hired an investigator to find Olivia . It was his old friend Peter who was a translator and solider during the war. He was one of the most intelligent people Tommy has ever known. He spoke six languages and could read eight. Of course that came in handy when they were face to face with angry German or an angry French woman disputing pay at a brothel.Peter finished law school when he got back home and now he was one of the top criminal defense attorney in England . What made him different was he defended people who he truly believed were innocent .

Peter was also was at the hospital when Tommy met Olivia and saw first hand their true love and the heart break to follow. He truly thought they had a chance. But the war once again destroyed their lives. 

Tommy tried to find out what happened to Olivia when he came back home but Grace and Campbell entered his life. After that he put the search on the back burner. He did feel guilty that he didn't continue the search after Grace left but he was just so wrapped up in his anger and grief. Tommy just put all of his energy into the business. He was also terrified that she might be dead. He doesn't think he could handle that. Tommy also was scared that she could be married and happy without him. That could be worse than death. He didn't get very far in his research . All he found out was that she was sent back to Paris . He dragged his feet in finding out. How many years has it been. He just wanted to put his head under the dirt and not deal with this. Now he didn't have a choice. He knew Grace would continue to pester him if he kept saying her name. The dreams were turning erotic when they shouldn't be. He needed closure . 

  
Tommy heard a car pull into his drive way. He pulled out his gun in instinct . Never know who wants revenge on the Shelby family. Tommy looked out the window as a man got out of the car. Tommy sighed in relief and put his gun in the desk drawer. It was Peter . It's been so long since he has seen him. Then dread set in. This was it. He was going to finally know what happened to the love of his life.

Tommy was walking out of his office and towards the front door when he saw Frances with Peter . He thanked Frances and stood in front of his old friend . Peter looked around in amazement . 

" How in the hell did you end up in a place like this. Last time I saw you you and your family were bookies and lived in a betting den. Now look at you. You live in a fucking castle. I bet it has a name. All rich people name their houses. "   
  
Tommy smirked. Same old Peter . Never thought twice about giving him a hard time.

"Arrow house and as for the betting den, it's still there on watery lane in small heath. I can show you later if you like." They hugged. It was a great feeling for the both of them.

" It's damn good to see you . I'm glad you are doing well Tommy . "  
" thank you . Shall we go to my office. "   
  
They entered his office and Peter sat down while Tommy got them drinks. Tommy sat the drinks down and sat behind his desk .

"I must say Peter you have done damn well for yourself. You have a Bentley , you have a posh flat in the middle of London. You are also all over the papers with the cases you win. Let's not forget you were all over the society pages with some American heiress."

Peter took a gulp of his drink then smirked .

"Tommy Shelby OBE. Who now lives in a castle and has a fleet of cars. Let's not forget you own Shelby company ldt and now are engaged to a beautiful Irish woman. Who was a spy for a very troublesome inspector. And she was married until his very tragic suicide . Then there are those rumors of you being head of the gang called peaky blinders ."

They had a moment . Of course they did their research on Each other . It did erk Tommy that he knew so much about him. Peter sighed and put his drink on the desk. 

" But enough of this. How are truly Tommy? "  
"Well as you can see. I have a house not a castle. A beautiful fiance and business is booming . What about you?"

" I'm well. I'm a successful attorney as you know and I've helped a lot of people. And I wasn't with that American girl by the way. I just happened to be around her when the press showed up. " Peter took another sip of his drink and smirked at tommy. Now there was an awkward silence . They were in a stand off seeing which one would talk first.Tommy was filled with anxiety . He wanted this over with and at the same time he didn't . Part of him wanted to keep his memories intact. He watched Greta die. He couldn't have Olivia dead too. His perfect love gone and nothing he could do about it. There was also a part of him that was nervous and jealous to find out she could be married with children . It was hypocritical of him to feel that why but she promised him that they would marry and have a family. Olivia had every right to move with her life it's been years since the war. Tommy moved on with Grace and would be married soon. 

Peter could read Tommy like a book. He knew every thought in his head. The information he had in his brief cases could set Tommy off. It was like a bomb about to go off. So Peter decided to end the suspense and put the briefcase on Tommy desk and opened it. He put the file in front of tommy. Tommy eyes went wide . This is it. His past was in that file.

"There it is Tom. The entire life of Olivia. Military record, employment history, addresses of all the residents she has lived, and even a picture I took." Peter watched Tommy carefully . He left out two small details but Tommy would find out sooner or later. 

Tommy opened the file and saw two pictures . The first was her official military photo. She looked so young and serious in her uniform. It reminded Tommy of him and his brothers photos. The second photo she looked older more mature but happy. She was in a flowery dress that hugged her curves perfectly. He could tell she had filled out more since the last time her saw her. Her hair was long and curly. He could remember just how soft it was. There was her smile. A truly happy smile that he could also see in her eyes. So much happiness and love poured out of that picture . She was standing in front of a beautiful Friesian horse. He saw that horse once as boy at a Boswell wedding. He fell in love with it's beauty instantly. It was obviously an expensive horse and didn't think he could ever afford but he wanted it. He vowed one day he would have a stable full of them.

  
Tommy started to choke up a bit. Olivia remembered. She had listened to his story and remembered his love of horses. She has a piece of his memory with her back home in France . Tommy heard the chair across from him creak and saw Peter watching him. He cleared his throat and straightened out in his chair. He put the picture to the side and bottled his emotions . The last thing he was going to do was break down in front of Peter. He looked through the papers and was very impressed. She was highly regarded in her military record . She was honorably discharged a month before the war ended . She had the rank of captain and was awarded a medal for her bravery . 

  
He flipped to the next page of her job history. She stayed in Paris until the spring and seems she went back to her hometown. She started working at the local hospital her father ran a almost a year later. There were several newspaper articles on Olivia . One was about her saving a hotel heiress from choking to death at a restaurant a few years ago. Another was about her saving a young boy after being trapped inside a car on fire. If course she continued to save people it's who she is. She would always put her life in the line for others. He finally reached the end of the file and wasn't much left. Only that she lived in her family property in her own house and a car title with her name on it. What surprised him was medical patent with Olivia's name on it. Quite a few of them. There was a couple with her parents and her brother. He smiled. He was happy she was sharing her inventions with the world and was making money off of it. Hopefully she didn't ever have to struggle in the future.

  
The three pieces of paper he dreaded to see weren't there. Marriage ,birth, and death certificate. He closed the file and went to get another drink. Peter watched him and knew what he wanted to ask.

"She isn't married. No children either. She is happily living on the French countryside with her horses and her family."

Tommy swallowed he drink and asked angrily   
"When did you take that picture ?" Tommy didn't want to think about why Olivia would be smiling at Peter . He didn't want to think Peter went behind his back and possibly slept with his woman. His woman? Olivia didn't belong to him. He had Grace now . He felt a big stab in the heart at the thought of that. 

Peter could see where this was going. The last thing he wanted was a fight and for Tommy to think he had a fling with her. He got up and walked to Tommy .

"I took that picture a few months ago. It's a funny story . About a year and half ago I had a client who was accused of murdering her husband. There was a rumor that he had a mistress but the police didn't bother to follow up on it but I did. I found out she had cleaned out the office safe and flee to Paris after she killed him of course." Peter lit a new cigarette and took a long drag. It irritated Tommy because he wanted Peter to just get on with the story.

" As I was filing the necessary paperwork to extradite the mistress back to England at the courthouse, I ran into her. Literally ran into her , I knocked her on her rump. " Peter chuckled at the memory.   
"We met for dinner that night and talked for hours. It was quite lovely seeing her."

It was obviously innocent. Old friends catching up but the ugly green monster of jealousy was rearing its ugly head. It's target was peter. All Tommy wanted to do right now was throw him across the room and beat answers out of him. Tommy reeled in his anger and flat out asked.

"Did you sleep with her after after talking for hours?"

Peter knew Tommy would ask that question but it still hurt. Olivia became a great friend and even a sister to him. It hurt that Tommy would think he would stab him in the back like that.

"Tommy do you honestly believe I would ever do that?"   
  
" Why not? She is a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman who I'm sure has felt lonely over the years. What better way to take advantage of that than getting her drunk and into bed. " Tommy was clutching his glass so hard it was coming close to breaking. Peter now was getting angry. How could Tommy think he would ever take advantage of her. He walked to the other side of the room so he wouldn't punch Tommy.

"Danny is dead. Freddie is dead. Barney lost his mind and is locked in that hospital. God only knows how the other men are. I always hear bombs and gunfire at night. I can't be in small spaces otherwise I start hyperventilating. Then there is you Tom. Are you still hearing the shovels? "

Tommy gave Peter a deadly glare while he moved to sit back down at his desk.

"Tommy when I saw Olivia it was wonderful. It was wonderful to see her thriving out there. She found some sort of peace after the hell we went through. She is actually living her life instead of just surviving to get to the next day like the rest of us. And those horses. She got them because of you. She told me the story of when she fell off one as a kid and broker her arm. She was terrified of them after that. Somehow you worked your magic on her and now she has become a horse whisperer . The same way you are."

" To answer your question no I did not have any type of sexual contact with Olivia. I have never seen her that way either. "

Tommy knew that but it still hurt him. It hurt that Peter got to see her. He got to spend time with her. To see her happy and smiling. It wasn't fair at all. Tommy grabbed her picture and blurted out the question he has been asking himself since the end of the war.

"Why didn't she find me? Why didn't she come to Birmingham like she promised?" 

The sadness and desperation in Tommy voice broke Peter heart. Only if he knew the whole story.

"She thought you were dead Tom. She was scared at the thought of coming to Birmingham and only finding your grave. She has felt guilty about it but she never stopped loving you. You have to believe in that. She will always love you."

"Does she know I'm alive. That I'm here in Birmingham."

" Yes she knows and she also knows about Grace. I didn't want to but she asked if you were seeing someone the last time I saw her. I couldn't lie. She is happy you found someone. "

"So that's it then. Olivia is in France with her horses and family and I'm here in England getting ready to be married."

"Yeah Tom that's it. Unless you want to talk to her. I can get in contact with her for you."

Tommy thought about the offer. It's tempting but he didn't think his heart could take it. Hearing her voice after all these years would be too much. In all honesty he would get on the first boat to France just to see her. He didn't trust himself to not leave everything behind and live his life with her. 

" No it's alright. I got what I wanted. Olivia is alive and doing well, now I can move on and get married."

  
Peter didn't believe him at all. He could see that Tommy heart has been broken all over again. He was starting to think this meeting was a mistake. He shouldn't of laid all this on Tommy . He also knows whenever Tommy finds out what he is hiding , there is a good chance that Tommy might beat him to death. Peter knows it's gonna come out one day. It just has too. He checked his watch to see it was getting late and Tommy noticed. Time to wrap this up.

"I thank you for your work in finding her. Here is your check. I hope the payment is to your liking."   
Tommy got up and wrote the check them handed it to Peter. Peter got up and took the check. It was a lot of money. More than he has ever charged a client. Peter ripped the check in half and put it on the desk.

"This one is on me Tom , but the next time I will charge you at least half of that amount."

Tommy gave him a small smile. It did touch him that Peter most likely always had the intention of doing this for free. He did it out of the goodness of his heart , which is a rare thing theses days. Peter stuck out his hand to Tommy and instead Tommy grabbed him into a hug. 

"Thank you for this truly." 

" it's no problem. You both are family. I would do anything for you two. " 

They separated when they heard a knock at the door. Tommy called for the person to enter. It was the last person he wanted to see right now. Grace.  
He shouldn't feel this way but he did. Tommy didn't want Grace to see that part of his world. He didn't want Grace to touch the memory of Olivia.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but the cook wanted to know if salmon is alright for dinner."  
" Yes that's fine. " Tommy said as he made his way over to his desk to put the file in a drawer. 

"My goodness you have a cook are you sure this isn't a castle. Castles have a full staff to wait on you hand and foot." 

Tommy rolled his eyes and introduced them.

" Grace this is Peter , an old friend of mine. "

Peter took Grace's hand and kisses the top of it.

"Its a pleasure to meet you. "

Grace blushed a bit. She wasn't used to this behavior from any of Tommy's friends or associates . It was refreshing to meet someone outgoing the way Peter obviously is.

"Its a pleasure to meet you to. I haven't met many of Tommy old friends, how did you meet?"

"Unfortunately during the war. I was a translator in his unit. Thankfully we were able to stay in touch afterwards."

Ann old friend from the war. Interesting Grace thought. She would have to kiss up to him soon. Invite him to come around more often so she can get information out of him. Maybe he knows Olivia. She would have to go back to her old ways of spying. Grace didn't want to do that but if there is another woman out there who had Tommy heart she had to take the chance. She wasn't going to let a other woman take what was hers.

"I'm glad you were too. You would like to stay for dinner? Most of Tommy family is coming over."

" I appreciate the offer but I can't. I have to get back to London for a late appointment. I hope that invitation would still stand for another time. "

"Of course it would." Grace smiled at him. 

"Alright enough flirting with my fiance , let me walk you to the door."

"Wonderful meeting you Grace." Peter and Tommy walked to the front door. Tommy started to feel a little sad as he walked Peter to his car. He could have spent a few more hours just talking. He wanted to talk more about Olivia . He wanted to know the Olivia Peter knew. But now it was over. No more talk about his past. No more talk about his true love. 

"Well Grace seem nice. I hope I am invited to the wedding." 

Tommy just rolled his eyes and hugged Peter once again. 

"When you head this way again let me know. I will take you to the garrison and get incredibly drunk." 

Peter smiled at that and said his goodbyes. As he drove off he couldn't shake the feeling Grace gave him. She felt off. What he saw in her eyes was different from what he saw in Olivia.

There wasn't any love in them. No warmth unlike Olivia. She had the kindest eyes he has ever seen. He was going to look into Grace background first thing Monday morning. He didn't trust that woman and if he had to stop a wedding then he was going to.

  
Tommy walked back into his office and Grace was still there giving him the look. He knows she is going to want to know all about Peter and why he never mentioned him. It annoyed him that she was always digging for information about his past. A normal person would just see it as a woman getting to know her man but to Tommy she was snooping. He still has fear that Grace could hand him and his family over to the police . That she was still spying on him. It's a terrible way to think but Tommy can't help it. There will always be that nagging feeling of betrayal in the back of his mind.

"Peter seems nice, I wish he could have stayed for dinner. " Grace was trying to get a reaction out of Tommy . She could tell in his demeanor that what ever they talked about really took a toll on him. She just hoped he wouldn't get melancholy again. She doesn't quite know what to do when he gets into that state.

"Mmmhhmm " was all Tommy said as he walked over to the window. He wasn't paying attention to Grace at all. He could feel her coming closer to him and talking but he didn't care. Tommy just wanted to lock himself in this room and cry. It was too much for one day and he was over it. 

"Tommy darling are you alright?" She put her hand on his cheek and Tommy leaned into it. This is what he needed. He needed Grace to ground him in reality. He has her now to keep the nightmares away. He has to keep reminding himself that.

"Yes I'm alright. Just talking a out the past is all."

" I can cancel dinner if you want. It's not to late to call the family. " Grace leaned on to hug him. What ever they talked about shook him up. 

"No it's alright. I'm alright don't worry." Tommy pushed her back a little and took her face in his hands . He just looked at her for a moment and then gave her a deep kiss. A kiss that took Grace breathe away.

"I love you alright. You never have to worry about me." 

" I will always worry about you Tommy.

They kissed and again and Tommy sent Grace away so he could finish his work before dinner. He tried his hardest to concentrate on the papers in front of him but it was just to hard. He felt like the desk drawer was taunting him. Just take a peak a voice in his head was saying. That voice sounded just like Olivia. Tommy opened the drawer and took the file out. The only place it should be is in a secret hiding place. It's the only way he was going to get through this. He couldn't have any part of her in his house. 

As family was arriving, Tommy put the file in his brief cases and got ready to go. He would be gone very long but needed to get that damn thing out of his house.

"Hey where do you think you're going. You invited the whole family. You can't just leave." Ada said. She was very ticked off her brother was leaving them and leaving them with Grace . Tommy stopped at the door when he heard Ada. He was so wrapped up in his mission he didn't notice he walked right past her and little Karl. He knew what he was about to say was going to piss his sister and the rest of the family off but he didn't care. He just needed to go right now.

  
"I have some business in town. I won't be long." Tommy ran out the door before she could say anything. He saw Arthur coming down the drive way with Finn, Polly, and Michael .He got into the car and sped down the drive way. He almost ran into his brother which got him a few horn honk . He had only one destination in mind. Watery lane.

  
Grace was getting worried about Tommy. It was almost 10 pm and Tommy still wasn't home. She was so mad that he just left her alone with his family. It was a boring dinner because no one really talked to her. Polly and Esme didn't acknowledge her at all. Arthur ,John ,and Finn were loud and going on about god knows what. Michael made some effort for small talk which she appreciated very much. She mostly talked to Ada about the wedding. She couldn't stand how they have her the cold shoulder. They should have gotten over the Campbell situation already. She was going to be Tommy wife soon and mother of his children. She wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

  
"Don't worry about Tommy I'm sure he is fine."

Grace was startled by Polly.

" He left with out telling me hours ago. He hasn't called . He couldn't of left for simply business. "

"He does a lot of things without telling. I will go and look around town. See where he is."

" thank you Polly. " Grace hugged Polly but it was an awkward hug. Polly was very surprised by this. She was surprised Grace was worried about Tommy . There was genuine concern in her eyes. 

"You really do love him don't you?"

Grace rolled her eyes and huffed.

"Of course I love him. Why must you always question me?" 

" I will always question you Grace. Tommy might of forgiven and forgotten but I haven't. When you came back to him you were married and lied about being pregnant. I will always question your motives. "

"I will be his wife soon and I will be having his children . There is absolutely nothing you can do."

That pissed off Polly . Sadly Grace was right. Once Tommy had his mind set he had to through with it. She wouldn't be happy about it. Polly hated that damn witch was going to be apart of their family but there was truly nothing she can do about it.

" I'm leaving now, I will call once I find him. Have a lovely night. "

Polly was going to wring his neck once she found him.

  
The only place Tommy could think was back home. His true home on watery lane. Soon as Tommy got there, he ran right up the stairs to his old room. It was quite and he finally had a moment of peace. There was a safe in the wall Tommy put in years before the war. He put mostly contraband and a few important document in the safe. It was in the wall behind a heavy dresser just in case the police came. Now the contents of the safe only hold sentimental value to him. Inside was a picture and loves notes from Greta and love notes from Olivia.

He decided this was the safest place for Olivia file and pictures. He didn't want anything happening to it. He didn't want anyone knowing either. Especially Grace. Tommy opened the safe and saw the notes. Olivia used to write little notes to the soldiers to make them feel better. She also would draw little doodles. As their relationship progressed the letters and drawings got more romantic and a little erotic . He took a few of her medical inventions sketches. He was so impressed with her brilliance. He went through every letter and drawing and started to break down. He doesn't remember when he started drinking whiskey and didn't notice it was dark. He was drunk and terribly sad when Polly found him.

After driving around the city Polly finally found him in his old room . It was a sad sight. He was drunk on the floor with broken mirrors and a broken chair. He was just staring a a photograph of a beautiful woman. She had a feeling of who she was. This situation was similar to the one after he came home. 

"I've been looking all over for Tommy. I told myself I would ring your neck when I found you. Your lovely fiance is worried sick over you."

Tommy knew someone would come for him but wasn't expecting Polly . She was the last person he wanted to see ,but at the same time she was the only person he wanted around. Polly wouldn't judge him and he wanted to get all of his heart ache out before he went back to Grace.

"Sorry Pol. I'll let you ring my neck to the morning if that's alright." His voice was horse from crying and the whiskey. He was emotionally drained and Polly could tell. Her heart broke for him. She had to tread lightly or Tommy would shut down . She took her coat off , lit a cigarette , and sat down next to him on the floor. 

"That's her than. The French Nurse.She is incredibly beautiful , I can see why you fell in love with her."

"She was the one who saved me. There was a small knick in an artery near my heart that doctor missed but she didn't. She managed to repair it before I bled to death. She joked that the only reason she was able to save me was because she had nimble fingers.She was the only one who could reach it and fix it." Tommy smiled a little.

" Yes she is beautiful but she is so much more than that. She is so smart and caring and loving. She has a fierceness to her that rivals yours. She promised me that we would meet after the war and start a life. She wanted to come here, but she never showed. " Hearing this made Polly tear up.  
  
"Why are you bringing this up now? Are you getting cold feet with the wedding?"

"I started to look for her after I got home but the Campbell situation happened and I just left it alone. I called up an old friend ,Peter,who is a lawyer and he found her. I just wanted closure and now, I think finding her made things worse."

" Where is she ? " Polly was worried that this woman was dead. She wanted to shield him from the pain but there wasn't much she could do right now. She had to listen to him and let him get all the pent up anger and sadness out. She watched Tommy get up and stretch. He walked over to the window and let out a cloud of smoke. He was on his second cigarette.

"She is living happily in France on her family property. She still is a nurse and raises four friesian horses. She is unmarried and has no children."

Polly was a little stunned by this. His true love was out there alive and well, and Tommy was here suffering . She knew he never let that girl go not truly. How could she have not contacted him over the years. It was just cruel. Now he is with Grace who wouldn't take this news very well. It didn't matter if this woman was in another country and most likely would never see Tommy again. Grace was very territorial and wouldn't put up with that. If she gets a whiff that Tommy still loves Olivia then she would leave. That's something she can understand. No one wants a husband in love with another woman. 

"Apparently Olivia thought I was dead all these years. Peter ran into her about a year and half ago and explained things to him. She was to scared to come to Birmingham. She thought the only thing she would find was my grave. I want to be angry at her but I'm no better." Tommy chuckled at that. 

" I've had plenty of chances to find her but I didn't. I've moved on with grace. I've built a company that's only getting bigger every day. And yet... " He didn't know how to finish that thought. Polly did though.

"And yet you still love her. You haven't moved on because you need closure." She got up and walked to him.

" Write her , call, or go to France to see her. You need this Tommy. You have to let it go if you want to a life with Grace. "

Tommy latched on to Polly and started to cry. He was so thankful he could be vulnerable in front of her. She was a mother to him. He knows she is right.

"I don't know if I can let Olivia go. I'm not sure if I want to." He just buried his head into her shoulder. Polly was going to do everything she could to help him even if it meant going to France and dragging that nurse with her. 

  
LONDON

Olivia was exhausted after the day she had. She wished someone told her about the gangs in the city. She wasn't naive to think London was crime free but this was just crazy. There was a shoot out every other week and today was terrible. The hospital has in influx of patients with gunshot and stab wounds. A fight broke out at a pub between gangs and thirty men were brought in. She hated that part of her job. She hated that those men would fight and risk theirs lives like that. It was all for nothing really. She saw truly brave men in the war. Her Tom was a brave man. 

She thinks about him everyday especially since she moved here. It would be to just jump on the train and go see him but she couldn't. He has a fiance now and she couldn't bare to see him with her. She didn't want to destroy his happiness simply because she wanted to see him because she was lonely. As much as she missed him she was thankful to have a piece of him. Her sweet little Oscar. He had his father eyes. His conception was under the best circumstance but she dealt with it. Oscar birth was the scariest and the best day of her life. Her son was the only thing that got her through her shell shock after the war. He was the only thing that helped her grief over Tommy.

That was another reason why she didn't want to go to Tommy . She didn't know how to drop that piece of information on him. She couldn't just show up on his door step with their son. She honestly didn't know how he would take it. It would break her heart if Tommy rejected their son. The only thing Oscar knew about his father was an English soldier who she loves very much. He was only four years old so she had time before he asked serious questions. 

There was a knock at the door as Olivia was setting the dinning room table for dinner. She quickly ran to the door to greet her guest. She opened the door and quickly engulfed the man into a hug.

"Ma Cherie"

Peter was so happy to see her. Since she moved to town he has had dinner with her almost every weekend. He entered the home and was almost tackled. He felt the sweet little boy hugging his waist. He loves him so much. He was shocked when Olivia first told him about her son. He Alamo didn't believe her until he saw the little boy. Soon as he saw those blue eyes he knew that was Tommy boy. He tried several times to get Olivia to tell Tommy and he came close once than was until Tommy got engaged to Grace. He saw how much that broke her heart. Hopefully now that she is so close to Tommy they will meet again.

Olivia was so happy when she met with Peter after coming to the city. She had a trusted friend and her son had an uncle in him. She was so happy she was able to have a new life here in London and finally was settled. She felt in her gut something big was going to happen soon. Not sure what but it was gonna happen. She wouldn't let it came her mood right now. She would just enjoy her family dinner. 

She wouldn't have to worry about her gut feeling until weeks later when the last person she thought to see would crash into the hospital and turn everything upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all likes this chapter. Sorry it took me awhile I switched this with the next chapter which will be an intro on Olivia. It will be a while before Tommy and Olivia reunite . Please let me know what you guys think. Thank you so much for the feed back and all the love!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The song Olivia sings is called sacred heart by the civil wars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the new chapter I hope you enjoy!!! I know I said this was going to be Olivia background but it's gotten so long that I've decided to turn it into a one shot . I hope to have that out soon. It's been such a pain to write so hopefully this chapter and the next will make up for it. I used French and German using a translator app on my phone so if anyone speaks those languages and I got it wrong please tell me I don't want to have written something terribly offensive lol

Tommy finally went home close to midnight after crying in Polly arms. It felt like a weight has been lifted off his chest. He thought seriously about what Polly said and decided to start with a letter. He didn't think he would send it but if writing down years worth of pain, anger, and heart break would help then he would do it. It might even stop the dreams. 

When he entered the house most of the lights were off. Only a few dim lights lit the hallways so he could see. Tommy decided to sleep downstairs on the other side of the house in a small guest room. It was more for the servants but he didn't care. He just wanted to be left alone and didn't want to talk to Grace till the morning. He stripped down to his boxers and undershirt and got under the covers. Tommy just laid their trying to turn off his brain. All he wanted was sleep. As he was drifting off he could hear the floor creek and faint humming. Tommy froze and kept his eyes closed. It could be Grace but she didn't know that song. Only one person knew that song. 

He felt the bed dip on the left side and a warm hand touch his.

  
"Mon amour pourquoi es-tu si tendu? "  
(My love why are you so tense)

He felt her hand caressed his face. Her thumb rubbed his bottom lip. It felt wonderful. He hasn't had this experience since he stopped smoking opium . He missed this so much. He never wanted it to end. Tommy opened his eyes and there she was illuminated by the moonlight shining through the window. She was beautiful. Her long hair was down to the middle of her back. He had always loved it that way. She had a white silk night gown on that accentuated her breasts. She just smiled at him. There was worry in those brown eyes of hers. She knew something wasn't right with him.

"Its been so long since you've conjured me up. Why now?"

It was an obvious question with an obvious answer but he couldn't speak. He just stared at her.

" If you want me Tom then come and get me. You know where I am. Nothing can stop you. Thomas Shelby can take whatever he wants. "

"I didn't get you." was all Tommy could say.

"S’il vous plaît mon amour venez me trouver, j’ai besoin de vous tout autant que vous avez besoin de moi"  
(Please my love come and find me. I need you just as much as you need me)

Olivia leaned in and gave Tommy a passionate kiss. Tommy leaned back so he could breath. She had the biggest smile on her face. He just held her.

"Go to sleep my love. "

Tommy just held her and fell asleep. It was so relaxing. He dreamt of Olivia and him in an old cottage on the country side. Sitting in front of a fire with a few kids running around the room. This was the life he wanted. This was the woman he really wanted. When Tommy woke the sun was up . He slept all through the night, which was a first in a very long time. No nightmares no night sweats. He actually felt refreshed. He got out of bed and dressed himself. He didn't want to see Grace right now but he had to shower and get clean clothes. He went to their bedroom and slowly opened their door. Thankfully it was just the maid in the room changing the sheets.

"Good morning Mr. Shelby. Ms Burgess just went down for breakfast."

That's good. Tommy could ignore her for just a little while longer.

"Thank you May. Please bring some breakfast to my office. I will be in there in about thirty minutes."

" yes Mr.Shelby. "  


Tommy got into the steaming shower and washed the previous night away. Olivia was so real. He could feel her smooth soft skin. He could smell the faint lavender she always smelled like. Her lips were the same as he remembered. He held her while he fell asleep and the dream was so real too. That was the life he wanted. Those thoughts were very dangerous for Tommy. He had Grace and was going to build a very long life with but Olivia was also right. He could have what ever he wanted. He felt that urge to call Peter and ask for Olivia number. He felt like she needed him even after all these years. Tommy got out of the shower and dried off. He went to the sink and prepared to shave. He looked at himself in the mirror.

"Get it together you fool. She is in France and doesn't need you. She wasn't real . Stop this and move on." Tommy told himself. If he had to look into the mirror every morning and tell himself that than he would. He has to move on with Grace. If he didn't then all of this would be a waste of time. He didn't want to admit that Polly was still right about Grace. He put so much on the line for her, he didn't want to fail. Tommy made his way to his office and locked the door. He didn't care how long it took he was going to write that letter .

"Tu es sûr e de vouloir me laisser partir ?"  
(You're sure you want to let me go)

Tommy looked up and saw Olivia. She looked just like she did in the picture Peter took. Simply beautiful . 

" I have no choice. I have to let you go. I'm starting to lose my mind. It hurts to much to think or see you. "

"tu as toujours le choix il suffit de suivre votre coeur."  
(You always have a choice just follow your heart.)

Tommy just ignored her and wrote . He wrote till sundown. His hand hurt and so did his eyes. He felt better when he finished the letter. It was five pages. He would be going to london soon with Grace and his family. He would hand the letter over to Peter to mail and then be done with his past . He could just move on .   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Grace was relieved to get the call from Polly that Tommy was all right and on the way home. Her relief quickly turned to anger. How dare he just get up and leave her like that. She desperately needed to find out what triggered Tommy. She went to his office and looked around. She opened drawers, looked through all of his papers on the desk. She had to know. She got to the bottom drawer when headlights flashed through the windows. She quickly put everything back into place and ran upstairs to their bedroom. She listened and faintly heard the front door slam shut and nothing else. Grace opened the bedroom door and tip toe to the staircase to see Tommy walking towards the other side of the house. Of course he was sleeping down there and ignoring her once again. She wasn't gonna put up with his shit. In the morning she would confront him and get to the bottom of his behavior. She had gotten this far and she was so close to the finish line . She wasn't going to fail. She had to marry Tommy it's what she deserved.

It was breakfast time and still no Tommy. She held on her fork so tight she almost bent it. That's it she was done. She got up and stormed out of the dinning room. She noticed one of the kitchen girls taking a tray towards Tommy office.  
"What are you doing with that tray." Grace snapped at the poor girl. She was startled and almost dropped the it.  
"Mr. Shelby requested to eat his breakfast in his office ma'am."  
"Do you know where he is now?"   
" Upstairs ma'am "  
  
Grace rolled her eyes and quickly hurried upstairs to their bedroom. She opened the door and heard the shower turning off. She took a minute to compose herself and put on her best worried look. As she went to open the bathroom door she heard him talking. It was muffled but she could make out she is in France and doesn't need you. What in the hell did that mean. Who was in France and who is she. Grace went to her side of the room where her closet is and hid while Tommy came out of the bathroom to his closet. She watched through the crack of the door while Tommy went back into the bathroom with his clothes. She quickly got out of there and headed back to her breakfast. Grace was seething on what she heard. How could this be happening . She honestly didn't think Tommy would cheat on her but now she had major doubt. The only women she knew of was Lizzie and May but they aren't in France. This all happened after his meeting with that Peter guy.  
  
It was like a cold bucket of water was dumped on Grace. It suddenly hit her . Only one woman from France Tommy knew and it was Olivia. The woman who Tommy called out for during the night. The woman who was just a friend during the war. He supposedly hasn't seen her in years. This was bad. Tommy was dreaming and calling out to her. That meant she meant and still means more to him than a friend. Dear Lord what is she gonna do now. That woman is out there and poses a threat to her relationship to Tommy. There is absolutely no way she was going to let some past love ruin her happy life. Grace just sat at the table and tried to form a plan. When they go to London she would get Peter alone and ask about Olivia. She was also going to contact some old friends in Ireland to dig into the woman past. She didn't want to return to her spy ways but she was left with no choice. She had to be very careful in case Tommy or any other family member found out. If they did then surely she would be cast out of England and never see Tommy again. She also had to get pregnant before the wedding. Grace didn't care if she had to get him drunk and tie him to the bed. She was going to be all over him all the time. This was her future and no one was going to fuck with it.

  
~~~~~~~~ LONDON~~~~~~~~

  
It was a sunny Saturday morning and Olivia just laid in bed. She was waiting for her usual wake up call. She was bone tired by the time Friday rolled around and was excited to have a relaxing day with oscar. She had to work in almost all of the departments . Monday and Tuesday she helped deliver babies. Wednesday was spent in the operating room, which was a highlight of the week. Thursday she spend in the children's ward. Friday was very interesting. Olivia was asked to stitch up a man. She was a little annoyed that she was pulled away from going home early just to put stiches in until she met the patient. When Olivia entered the room the junior nurse was cowering in the corner and on the verge of tears. The girl ran out of the room and Olivia quickly introduced herself to the man and got to work. Right as she was threading the needle she heard the man grumble in a different language. Yiddish from what little she understood. He called her something that sounded like French tramp and that really ticked her off.   
  
She looked up and fully took him in. This man looked and grumbled like a bear. He had a scruffy beard and blue eyes. He was well built and his hands looked rough. He had several rings on and a small tattoo near his thumb. It was a black crown. She didn't know what it stood for but it was obvious he was a criminal , most likely in a gang. She looked him directly in the eyes and told him off.

"If you have a problem sir let me know. I can stop the stitching and you can walk right out." She poked the cheek wound for emphasis. He growled.

" Or I can fix you right up and have you on your way in no time. It's your choice. "

He stared at her like he was dumbfounded. He apparently hasn't had many people stand up especially a woman.

"You speak yiddish?" 

" I understand some. Enough to know an insult. I suggest you shouldn'tcall me a French tramp when I'm about to close your facial wound with a very sharp needle. If I'm not careful you could have a very ugly scar. "

"Mmhhhmm." Was all he said. That was Olivia's cue to get to work. She was half way done when he spoke again. 

" The only French women I have known were whores. " 

"Well I'm not one. I've have worked very hard to get where I am. I'm assuming you fought in the war. That's why you know French women as only whores."

" Yea I fought. All of England did. I was in Paris once. Beautiful city and wonderful brothels too. "  
She tugged on the thread a little to sharply after the comment. She quickly finished and put a small bandage on it. 

" I'm all done. Keep the bandage on for twenty-four hours and keep dry for the next week. If any problems please get medical attention. An infection can get nasty very fast. "

As Olivia cleaned up she heard the man clear his throat. She turned around and he looked like he wanted to say something.

"You were a nurse over there weren't you."  
Olive took a breathe. She didn't think he would take the moment to observe that. His face was very solemn and remorseful.

" Yes I was. My brother and parents also served in the medical field. "

He stuck his hand out.  
"Thank you for helping me . I do apologize for insulting you miss."

Olivia was a little stunned by this. She stuck her hand out to shake his.

"You're welcome. I was just doing my job and thank you for apologizing Mr?"

" It's Alfie Solomon's but you can just call me alfie. "

"Alright Alfie. I'm Olivia. Now remember what I said. If anything goes wrong please see someone. I work week days so I can help if you want."

Alfie smiled at her and tipped his hat at her.

"Shalom miss Olivia ."

She smiled back and cleaned up. He was an odd fellow but for some reason she wanted to get to know him. He seemed like a man who was full of stories. He was obviously a gangster and she shouldn't want to be friends with him but she couldn't help it. Olivia chalked it up to being lonely. She had only been in London for two months now and hadn't made very many friends. She was friendly with her fellow nurses and her neighbors but the only real constant friend she had in the city was Peter. She was grateful and loved him dearly but she wished that she knew more people. There was a small part of her that wanted to hop on a train and visit Birmingham but was not ready for that at all .

Olivia rolled over and saw eight- fifteen on the clock. The alarm was running a bit late. She finally heard the hall floorboards creek and the door open. She closed her eyes and tried not to smile when she felt the bed dip. She felt a tiny hand on her shoulder and hot breathe in her ear.

"I know you're up mama."

Olivia jolted up and grabbed Oscar. He was howling with giggles as she covered his face with kisses and set him in her lap. He put his arms around her neck and gave a few kisses back.

"How could you know I was up? I was under the covers with my eyes closed."  
  
" You are always up before me mama. " Oscar was starting to wiggle out of Olivia lap and started towards the door.  
  
" We have to get ready mama it's a big day. We get to see horses with uncle Peter. "

Olivia grinned at how excited he was. Peter was taking them to a stable at the edge of town. It was hard leaving her horses back home in France but she really had no where to put them. She could put them up in a stable but the transportation and weekly coverage of their stay would cost too much. She was also worried they wouldn't be treated kindly. The horses always made Olivia calm and peaceful. It made her feel close to Tommy too. She knew Oscar would take to them instantly since it was in his blood. She remembers the stories Tommy told her of him traveling with his romani side. How much his eyes lit up talking about the fairs he went to as a kid. The horse races he had with his brothers and cousins. He felt truly free traveling. She can see that in Oscar. He was always on the run from dawn till dusk. He threw tantrums when he was made to go back inside. When one of the mares gave birth Oscar stayed with her all day. He cried when the new foal was born. He personally over saw the care of the new horse and had so much love and pride in his eyes. She knew that was all Tommy. Hopefully one day Oscar will meet Tommy and his family. It would be a wonderful thing to see him in his true identity. A Shelby .

Olivia got ready quickly. She wore trousers and a white shirt. Wearing trousers wasn't consider lady like but she didn't care much. There was no way she was going to ride a horse in a dress. She wasn't going to sit side saddle either. Olivia tried a few times as a child but slipped out of the saddle and was almost trampled by the horse. She thought is was ridiculous that society saw women as inferior fragile creatures who should only stay home. She knew not many men could stomach her job as a nurse. They couldn't stomach having to bleed every month. They certainly couldn't handle giving birth. She wanted to change her male pier minds but most of them were stuck in their ways. She vowed to teach her son differently. She wanted to make sure Oscar felt that women were very much equal to men. She held done a job while being a single mother. That was something she wanted her son to be proud of.

Within the hour they were off to Peter's. Oscar was bouncing in the backseat of the car. Thankfully when they arrived Peter was waiting for them outside.  
  
"Good morning . I hope you are excited for today's activities."  
  
" IT'S HORSE RIDING DAY!!!! " Oscar exclaimed at the top of his lungs. 

"Pas si fort mon ange."  
(Not so loud sweetheart.) 

"Désolé maman , mais je suis si heureuse."  
( Sorry mama, but I am just so happy .)

Olivia looked in the rear view mirror and smiled at how happy he was.

"Du solltest den Jungen leicht machen. Du weißt, dass Pferde in seinem Blut sind. Genau wie sein Vater.  
(You should go easy on the boy. You know horses are in his blood. Just like his father.) Peter said with a little wickedness in his eyes. He knew he was pushing olivia's buttons with mentioning Tommy. He kinda had to now since his meeting with him. Peter knew the secret would be out soon. He could feel it.

Olivia rolled her eyes as hard as she could. Peter always encouraged the Shelby traits in Oscar when they came out. She had to curve it because he still had to have manners. She knew his stubbornness came from Tommy. Oscar was also getting smarter everyday. That came from both parents but his sneaky cleverness came from his father. That scared her. She didn't want him to be to smart for his own good.

"Er muss sich um seine Manieren kümmern. Sprich auch nicht vor ihm über Tommy . Nicht in irgendeiner Sprache."  
(He needs to mind his manners. Also don't talk about Tommy in from of him. Not in any language.)

"Es ist wahr und du weißt es"  
(Its true and you know it.)

"Maman, tu as dit que ćétait grossier de parler derrière quelqu'un dans une autre langue."  
(Mama, you said it was rude to talk behind someone's back in another language.)  
  
Peter laughed loudly but tried to cover it with a cough. That boy was certainly a Shelby.

"Alright everyone speaks English from now on. No more secret conversations." Olivia said sternly . Thankfully Oscar began to prattle on about the week he had. Peter enjoyed the conversation with Oscar because he had to tell Olivia about his meeting with Tommy a few weeks ago. He was saving that towards the end of the trip. He prayed that she would flip out.

  
After an hour of driving they arrived at the estate. It was a very classy yet homie place. It was owned by some Lord and had been in his family for many generations. There was a manor you could stay at over night and a lovely restaurant that over looked a magnificent garden and green house. The stables housed some of the world's top racing horses. It was an exclusive place to get into and a person could be in the waiting list for years. Of course it was Peter who got them in. It helps to befriend a judge and a few parliament members to get in.

Oscar flew out of the car once they stopped. Olivia went to grab him. She turned him around to face him.

"I know you're excited but you can't run off like that . Now stay with me and uncle Peter . We are going to eat a little breakfast before we ride."

" But we already ate some biscuits at the house. I want to ride now ! " Oscar made his displeasure known with a stomp and a pout. Oscar knew better than to throw a fit but he couldn't help it. He was only five years old. He wanted to ride now.

Olivia knelt down to his eye level. 

"We will be here most of the day and I know you petit ami. You will ignore your grumbling tummy just to keep ridding as long as possible. Now we don't want you to go hungry now do we?"

" No I guess not. " Oscar said with a long sigh. Olivia and Peter couldn't hold back their smiles. The little guy was truly his father. She stood up and grabbed Oscar 's hand to walk into the manor. They were quickly greeted by the concierge and escorted to the sunroom for breakfast.

They ate a proper English breakfast. Olivia had to tell Oscar to slow down a few times so he wouldn't choke. He was practically vibrating with excitement when they finished and went towards the stables.

"Its good to see you Mr. DuBois." Alfred Pennyworth said to the little boy. Alfred ran the stables . He enjoyed the little boy's company . Alfred had been in charge of the Wayne manor stables for over 20 years and Oscar was truly his favorite child to of worked with. He wouldn't be surprised if he ended up working at the manor when he was older. "Hello Alfred . It's a wonderful day to ride isn't it."  
All the adults smiled and laughed a bit.

" We have your usual horses ready to go. " Alfred said as they walked into the stables. Olivia hung back a little watching Oscar talk the men's ears off. She was startled by a kick in a stall door. She paused and saw a true beauty. A large black horse was huffing at her. She walked towards him and put out her hand. It walked forward and sniffed her. That brought a smile to Olivia's lips. Something in the horse's eyes felt familiar and calming. It was odd to her that she instantly thought of Tommy. She stroked his muzzle when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"He is a beaut isn't he?" Alfred said.

" He most certainly is. What is his name? "

"Mahogany boy. He is a retired race horse from Birmingham. His owner donated him. We are training him to work with disabled children and veterans and It's not just horses. They provide dogs for the blind and also send in dogs to visit sick children in the hospital. It's a wonderful charity that Lord Wayne started. "

It warmed her heart to hear that someone with Lord Wayne's money and status put it to good use and helped people in need. Olivia also got the urge to volunteer in the charity. What ever she could help with she wanted to.

"Alfred is there any chance I could ride him instead of mercy." She gave him the biggest smile and puppy eyes she could. There was just something about the horse. 

"If you are sure. I can have him saddled up in a few minutes." Alfred wasn't to sure about taking him out but he had done well the last few times . Alfred couldn't say no to Olivia either. She looked like she was in love with him. He was quickly saddled and the group was off. Oscar was riding an older docile horse named lemon drop. She was an Appaloosa and Oscar adored her. Peter was riding Lemon drop sister Athena. He really wasn't a horse person and wasn't a very good rider but he decided to bite the bullet a while ago because it ment spending time with Olivia and Oscar. Peter didn't have much family left so he adopted Olivia as a sister and her son as a nephew. All he needed was for Tommy to marry Olivia and then he would have a brother in law.

Olivia was amazed at how powerful she felt on top of Mahogany boy. It was a calm power. Like she could ride into a city and take it over. All she needed was armour and a sword. Then she would be a warrior queen from the bed time stories Oscar loves so much. When the group started to pick up speed on the horse trail she could feel he wanted to run. There was a quiet ferociousness to him that was just like Tommy. A dangerous beauty. A large field came into view and Olivia made mahogany boy speed up. She could hear Oscar giggles and Peter whistle. Soon they were all racing to the end of the field. It was a major rush of adrenaline and felt incredible. She was disappointed to reach the end of the field. All she wanted was to keep running. Peter stopped next to her and then under the watchful eye of Alfred , Oscar trotted along with a giant grin on his face. What would make this moment perfect is Tommy being here .

"Oh mama that was so much fun. Can I ride with you mama. Please please please." Oscar pouted his lips as he begged his mother. He wanted so badly to ride with her. That would be the biggest horse he has ever ridden. Olivia wasn't too sure about it but since he would be in front of her she didn't see why not.

"Alright sweet heart come here." She grabbed him to sit in front and made sure he was secure . Alfred held on to lemon drop reigns and they slowly headed back to the stables. It was a leisurely stroll that had Oscar asking to go faster every few minutes. Once the stables were in view , mahogany boy sped up a little. Oscar was having the time of his life . They reached the stables and dismounted. When Olivia reached for her son she could tell he was a little disappointed that the ride was over. Back in France she would let him stay outside with the horses all day but here in England that wasn't possible. Olivia planned to look for country home soon. She wanted to wait a year of being in London before she bought anything. She didn't plan on moving them there permanently but it would be nice for a weekend home. Olivia had a nice nest egg saved up and felt ok with splurging a bit for a good home.

  
"Do I have to get down ? I really don't want to." Oscar pleaded with his mother. Before she could answer the stables hand Billy did.

"I can take him in the rink ma'am. He will be safe with me" Billy told her. Olivia wasn't sure but she had seen Billy ride and it looked like he knew what he was doing. Peter came up to Olivia , grabbed her by the shoulders and moved her to the fences area.  
  
"Come on mum let the boy have some. We can watch from here." Peter wanted Olivia to loosen up a little and this would also be a good time to tell her about Tommy .

"Alright but sweet heart you listen and pay attention to Billy." She was worried but they not on her son's face was worth it. They entered the rink and and were galloping . Olivia and Peter leaned against the fence and just watch.

"He should be here. He should be the one up there with his little boy." A wave of melancholy hit Olivia . They were so close to Tommy and yet so far away at the same time. 

"Do you think he would hate me ? I didn't go to Birmingham like I promised. I've kept his son from him. I've made such a mess of this." Olivia bowed her against the fence and held back the tears. If she did seek out Tommy would he even want to see her?

Peter hated seeing Olivia beat herself up. He had to tell her.

"Tommy still loves you Liv. Yes he would be hurt and angry but he would understand. That's his flesh and blood. One thing I know about the Shelby's is that they would never hate Oscar or turn him away." Peter turned to look at Oscar laughing and having the time of his life. He sighed and decided to tell her.

" Tommy hired me a few weeks ago to find you. "  
Olivia eyes went wide and her face went pale.

" Oh dear God " Olivia whispered in horror. Peter grabbed her by the shoulders so she would face him.

"All Tommy knows is that you have become successful in your career and that you still live in France with your family. I didn't tell him about Oscar or that you are now in England."

It was hard for Olivia to focus on what Peter was saying. All she was thinking about was that Tommy now knew about them and could take her son away from her.

"Alright Liv focus on me. Take deep breathes and focus on me." She did what he said and took deep breathes to calm down. She settled after a few minutes.

" Tommy doesn't know you had his child and he doesn't know you are here in England. He just wanted to know if you were still alive. Ok . I never told him. " Peter held her face in both hands. He saw how scared she was. He could read her just like he could Tommy. 

"He still loves you Liv. I could see it. You will always have a place in his heart. I know you're scared but nothing is going to happen unless you wanted it to ."

Olivia gently removed his hands from her face and wiped the few tears that ran down her cheeks. Her emotions were all over the place. She knows he would never sell her out or out her into harms way. But there was something nagging in the back of her mind. What if Tommy didn't believe Peter. What if he showed up on her door step or at her work. Olivia didn't think she could ever face him but maybe this was the push she needed.

"Is Tommy happy with his fiance?" It was a question she didn't want to ask but had to.

" Yes he seems to be but I'm not very sure about her something is off. Why do you ask? " Peter didn't know where this was going.

"If he is truly happy I don't want to blow up his life. I know that it's the right thing to tell him but what if he doesn't want us. I'm so scared that he wouldn't want anything to do with Oscar or he would be in his life out of obligation. They don't deserve to go through life being father and son simply because they have too. Oscar deserves a father's love."

"He will love Oscar with his whole heart I can promise you that. As for Grace , I can also promise that if she isn't accepting of Oscar then Tommy won't put up with that. You won't be blowing up his life. You would be bringing him joy. Tommy has been so broken since coming back. Well all have. I know that he would cherish every day he was able to have with his son." Peter took a breathe and realized where this was going.

" You want to tell Tommy don't you. " 

"I have moved to London at the same time Tommy has decided to find me. Maybe it's God way of telling me I need to see him again and for Tommy and Oscar to me." Olivia felt like a brick was lifted off her chest. It was time for them to meet. She couldn't deprive any more time from her son. If Tommy rejected him then she would simply run his ass over . As much as she loves Tommy her son comes first and she would do anything to protect him.

"Would you set a meeting up for me and be there please?"   
  
" of course I will help in any way you want me to. " Peter was so happy. Tommy was going to have the family he always wanted with Olivia after all these years. Peter grabbed Olivia in a tight bear hug. As they were holding each other there was a sound off to the side. Olivia looked into the rink and it happened so suddenly and yet it was also slow motion. Mahogany boy was in distress. He was making terrible noises like he was scared and started rising in his back legs. Billy was the first to fall off with a loud yell. Then it was just little Oscar on the horse. He was screaming and holding on for dear life. Mahogany boy ran to the other side still bucking and then there was a loud thump. Oscar fell off and under the horse. There was a another loud guttural scream. Olivia didn't realize it came from her. 

  
Olivia was in a complete haze when they got to the hospital. She doesn't remember picking up Oscar little unconscious body of putting him in the car. She doesn't remember running into the hospital for help. They made it there in record time and thankfully they went to her hospital. She knew he would be in good hands. By a miracle Oscar only had a dislocated shoulder , bruised ribs, and a bump on the back of his head. He had to stay in the hospital under observation for twenty-four hours. They gave him some pain medication which knocked him right out. That's why Olivia was kneeling next to his bed praying. Praying that her baby would remain in this state and no other injury would pop up over night. 

Olivia had felt fear during the war and when she gave birth but what she felt today was a new feeling. It was pure and raw terror. When he went under the horse she thought he was going to be trampled. Olivia didn't know if she could survive something bad happening to him. He was her whole world. When she went into labor she almost bled to death. When she thinks back to that day it breaks her heart to think she might of not gotten a chance to be a mother. He truly saved her life. Oscar was her purpose. He gave her so much hope .   
  
Olivia got up with a grunt. Her knees hurt from kneeling but didn't care. Oscar was sleeping soundly and alive. That's all she cares about. He was going to be just fine. She sat on the bed and stroked his hair. He looked so much like his father. If she hadn't decided earlier than she would have now. Life was short and Tommy needed to know his son. 

"Quand je marche dans la rue   
La rue vers le Sacré-Cœur  
Je me souviens de promesses  
Au nom de l'amour  
Je,je vais t'attendre lá  
Viendras -tu pour moi?   
Je vais t'attendre lá  
Seulement toi

Olivia was singing her favorite song. The she used to sing to Tommy. When they got some time alone at night he would lay his head on her chest. Olivia would sub her fingers through his hair. It helped him sleep. He said her voice and heart beat was the only thing that kept the noises out. He didn't fear Germans were in the other side of the wall when he was in her arms. Olivia wanted to keep him in his arms and protect him forever. She knows she is not able to do that for Tommy but she is for Oscar.

  
" Les ombres grandissent  
Et les foules s'effacent  
Je,je vais t'attendre lá  
Viendras-tu pour moi?  
Je vais t'attendre lá  
Seulement toi  
Seulement toi"

"Olivia?"

she was still singing and watching her boy. That's when she heard the voice again. Calling to her.

"Olivia Du Bois? " The voice said louder. She froze for a moment. That voice sounded familiar but it has been years. She stood and turned towards the door. The sun was starting to set and the light hit his face like a portrait. It felt like a fist was squeezing her heart. He looked different but she knew it was him. He had those damn blue eyes. Only one other person had them and he was laying in the bed asleep. She saw an older woman come in the room calling his name. Her feet started to move and was suddenly in front of him. She could tell he thought she was a ghost. She raised her hand to his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. All she wanted was to kiss him.

"Yes Tommy it's me." Tears started to fall down her cheeks and he smiled. Then the older woman popped their bubble. 

" Oh sweet jesus. This is the last fucking thing I need to deal with right now. " 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this. I did my best with historical accuracy and also did my best with the timeline. Thank you for reading . Let me know what you think and I have a Tumblr if you want to come by and talk kmhappybunny .  
> Also I won't be describing her skin color. I want to have a general description of Olivia so you can imagine her as yourself or how ever you want to . She is curvy , dark hair, and brown eyes. (I have brown hair and brown eyes so I went with it lol) I think that general description can fit anyone. Let me know what you think

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you have enjoyed this chapter please let me know what you think I will try my best with this story and it probably won't be very long please comment and kudos I would appreciate it thank you guys


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